Kiss your life

Winter in RMNP

Winter in RMNP

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

The snow is all sparkly and after days of deep freeze, the ice diamonds are melting and drops drift from the roof to the sidewalk directly outside my window. I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop on a weekday morning wrapped in a warm scarf with feet cozy inside sheepskin-lined boots. I’m a lover of winter, but I’m not a fan of this kind of cold, the kind where the skin on my legs shines sunburn-red under my jeans and move stilt-like in the frigid air when I walk the dog. Nights are only sleep-able and bearable if bundled up underneath two comforters or wrapped in the arms of my lover. I wake with my ice-cold nose peeking over the covers.

Still, a warming is on it’s way and winter’s days are numbered. The days will be getting longer soon so these moments are to be cherished. We should embrace these days. We should kiss our lives.

Winter light has a unique loveliness when accompanied by snow and hot chocolate or a good glass of wine and a bit of time to sit still and hold hands with someone special and I’ve become aware that sharing is better than solo when you are with the right someone. Someone who you never expected to have in your life and who makes the most ordinary excursions like food shopping at King Soopers a fun event, and you find yourself reaching for his hand at any opportunity, and it reminds you how when you were a preschool teacher, the child you worked with would rest his hand on your leg as if to be certain of your existence. I’m not used to having my dreams come true but I am getting better at letting happiness become my new familiar and letting it wash over me like the mist from a Havasu Canyon waterfall.

I’m kissing my life.

Kiss your life.

When I went food shopping with my boyfriend a few days ago, I had one of those moments. You know, the one where you are doing something ordinary like picking out milk or laughing in the aisle of a supermarket at nothing, absolutely nothing at all, and you see sparkly sunlight and ice diamonds even though you are inside, and you see them because they are glittering inside your HEART. You feel, pinch me, thank you God, you feel, if this is my life, well, holy shit, I need to kiss my life.

It’s Christmas time and my entire existence is in transition and my kids will be here the day after Christmas, and my dog, dear Tigger, looks at me as if to say, “What now?” every time I plop him in the car and I’m far behind on everything but at the same time, I’m ahead of everything.

There was a time last winter, about a week or so before Christmas when I filled my home with friends, and my house was so full I had trouble navigating from the living to dining room and my home was filled with jingle bell laughter and I knew I had finally created a life for myself that fit me and that had meant abandoning some things and embracing others and I sensed doors opening in the universe and I took one moment as I looked upon my friends to see how far I had come and to kiss my life. My beautiful, extraordinary ordinary life.

One of my yoga teachers recently said, “Imagine that your life is perfect right now, exactly as it is,” and I loved the sentiment even as I thought, ahhh it would be perfect if my book was published and financial security was a definite and if my children lived closer and so on. And then I looked to my side and I saw my incredible partner and realized that I do have everything right now. My life is perfect just as it is. In all it’s imperfect uncertainty, I have everything.

Winter light has a magic that is fleeting and brilliant. Cherish this. The cold air of winter finds us scurrying for warmth and sidewalks can be lined with ice that requires mindfulness when stepping outside and the air can freeze our exhale and cause our inhales to be sharp. Embrace this.

Kiss your life.

Kiss your own beautiful extraordinary ordinary life. This is what I wish for you this holiday season. Kiss your own beautiful life.

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2 Responses to Kiss your life

  1. Amruta says:

    Just beautiful.

  2. Leonie says:

    The day after Christmas…everyone has gone home after a busy and wonderful Christmas Eve and Day. I’m sitting quietly and reflecting. Your story made me smile and count my blessings as I contemplate my own beautiful, extraordinary ordinary life. I am lucky and I am blessed.

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