Noun: An intense feeling of deep affection: “their love for their country”.
Verb: Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): “do you love me?”.
Synonyms: noun. affection – fondness – darling – passion
verb. like – be fond of – fancy – adore
I woke up and fell in love last night. Really. My breath was taken away and I gasped in wonder and my heart filled with that warm taffy kind of feeling, and I wanted to get started, jump out of bed, and go find MORE. My feeling was intense. I fancied, I adored, I was fond of. Some spirit, some force of nature, something in the universe shouted “I love you.”
Crazy? Perhaps. At the very least, I will acknowledge being abnormal. I’m kind of proud of that.
Whenever possible, I sleep with my windows open. I like to sleep with my nose sticking out of the covers, made cold by the cool Colorado evening breeze. I’m connected to the world at large when my window is open, the moon, the stars, the lovely night sky. Every problem, worry, or sadness leaves via that window because my relationship to the universe is known deep beneath my skin and inside my bones.
I opened my windows last night even though the heat was on, longing for the wind on my body. Heaven rushed into my bedroom, like a lullaby and I fell into instant sleep.
Hours later, that same wind that had gently caressed my skin was shouting with urgency as it rattled my blinds and whooshed from the foothills down the canyon of my road. I lied in bed for some time in that sort of sleepy, sort of awake state and wondered what the wind was saying. The wind speaks, you know. Doubt me? Find a secluded path somewhere in nature, the woods, the mountains, near a lake or flowing river. Stand still and close your eyes. Listen. What do you hear?
I give you permission to call me regardless of the hour if you feel nothing. You need to talk to someone if you are unmoved by the language of the wind.
Eventually I had to acknowledge that being a mere human and not a force of nature who could endlessly and willy nilly flow and fly, I needed to sleep. My pleasantly chilled toes stretched towards the floor and I raised the blinds high so I could lower the window and that is when I fell in love.
The sky. The extraordinary bright night sky. Stars everywhere, splayed everywhere I could see and despite my sleepy brain I felt tears at the corner of my eyelids. I was present, yes, and then transported to my trip years ago where I camped in Havasu and the night I slept in Madison Hut after being fighting for hours 80 mph wind gusts along the Presidential Ridge in New Hampshire. The stars while you sleep in a canyon remind you to see, the blinding brilliance of stars after a frightening hike feels like a hug from the friend you hold most dear and haven’t seen in far too long.
Love is a remarkable feeling. And for me, the tug and pull of love from the natural world brutally fiercely fantastically reminds me that love is always present.
I slept with my blinds up, the wind quieted now behind my closed window, the light of the stars, my friends from the universe keeping me company.